G.I. Joe: The Motion Picture (1987)

Our Review

G.I. Joe: The Motion Picture came out in 1987, when the franchise was at its merchandise peak: essentially three episodes of the TV series plus recut prequel footage stitched into a feature for direct-to-video and foreign markets. Cobra Commander loses face after the Joes steal a super weapon, and his answer is to have Doctor Mindbender grow the Ultimate Combat Tool from Napoleon’s DNA. Serpentor arrives with an ego that immediately becomes everyone’s problem, including his creator’s.

Watch it as a time capsule and it is a hoot. The animation is television grade inflated to widescreen, the action beats are the same missile lock choreography from the series, but the Serpentor material gives the film a real villain arc and Cobra Commander’s demotion plot is genuinely dark for a toy movie: the Dread Noks turn on him and the film ends with him still clawing for his throne. A later Collector’s Edition cut restored footage trimmed from the TV versions, which mostly just means more scenery chewing.

No critics bothered, no rating worth quoting. This is a completionist entry: see the origin the series never got to animate at full length, then go watch Resolute and remember what the franchise looked like when someone took it seriously.